Today in a staff meeting my boss was talking about some conference he went to, about rubbing shoulders with some sort of entrepreneurs or something. It reminded me once again how frustrating careers are to me.
From early on, when society decided to brand me "smart" or gifted or a high academic achiever or whatever, I've always felt that I'd been given a gift by God. Therefore I've always wanted to use it responsibly for whatever "big purpose" God intended.
You'd think by now life experience would have taught me the folly of looking for such bigness, that knowing three or four people enough to really influence the course of their lives is really the biggest thing one can aspire to. But that just seems so.... hard to pin down.
I can't escape the feeling that I'm just frittering my life away. I'm 35, really middle-aged now, and I haven't accomplished a damn thing yet. (Well, at least I'm not miserable in my day-to-day any longer.)
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I'm pretty sure you're exaggerating, as we INFPs are prone to do :-) Look back carefully, over the past ten or fifteen years. Are you sure you haven't accomplished much? Maybe the problem is that you are comparing your accomplishments to society's idea of success. Maybe you should have your own definition of success. Hey, some people would consider keeping a blog up and running as a big accomplishment! Others would consider having a job - no matter how dreary or boring it is - as a major accomplishment.
It's okay to dream big. But don't ignore or lose sight of the many small dreams that you have already accomplished. Be thankful for them :-)
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