General grumpiness

How ass-backwards is it to make the development staff into receptionists and customer support agents for your store because you don't have anyone else to answer the phones?

I'm trying to be less critical of stuff at work, and when I started I accepted the occasional interruption as just part of working for a small company. But it's getting a little out of hand. I'm already easily-distracted as it is; when I process three or four store returns in a day, I start to feel more like a CSR whose just writing a little code in his spare time. And of course, that's not the way to get your website developed.

Then again -- no one actually reads the site that I'm working on anyway, so it seems like all my effort spent to add features is sort of fruitless. "Hey, everyone! We have live notification of games that you haven't signed up for! We have automated women's basketball rosters even though no one reads those pages!" It's like we're majoring in the minors. If you want to redeploy tech staff, redeploy us to marketing. We need marketing. Bad.

OK, now that that's off my chest....

Last night I had a total meltdown. Going over my litany of failures with the counselor earlier in the day was a bit taxing on me, and it really got to me late last night. I ended up losing about 1 to 1.5 hours of sleep because of it.

Also, my resentment over living in my hometown, at least 100 miles from any sort of anything that I enjoy, got to me, beacuse I'd planned to go to a concert tonight but can't because I'm too busy with shrink, counselor, career counselor, and CTS doc. I really fucking hate this place.

("But God has you there! Be happy!" It's hard for me not to believe that God has me here because he enjoys making me miserable for reasons that are beyond my theological comprehension. I realize that trials and tribulations are supposed to strengthen us. In my case, they just beat me down and take away my will to live.)