Understimulation

I'm feeling oh so very understimulated at the moment. Hard but instructive to try to put my finger on why. I mean, I do have work to do. Some of it really needs to get done, and some of it is like, OK, I'm rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, adding features to a site that no one ever sees that don't happen to be features any of the public cares about, but hey, it's what my boss wants.

I tried working on the stuff that really needed to get done earlier today, and that seemed to go OK (if a little distracted). But now I've moved toward allotting time for the stuff that is really unimportant, but my boss will probably ask for sooner than the other stuff. I just try to concentrate and my brain says, "I don't wanna."

I've more or less prayerfully decided to take some kind of "radical action" when the good project wraps up in March or April. That doesn't necessarily mean quitting; it could be a three-month sabbatical or changing my work so I can do it offsite. But I just can't keep at it with the same old routine for another 6 months or five years or whatever normal people do when they're trapped in a boring existence.

I've always thought that having a plan for making things better should be enough to calm me down. But I'm ADHD, so it doesn't work that way. Having a plan to make things better just gets me into this state where I'm frustrated because it's not yet time to carry out that plan, and that just makes the routine into drudgery.